In between episodes of Lovejoy I’ve felt inspired to compose this poem. Please excuse its powerful symbolism but I cannot bring myself to edit the contents of my heart.
Dealer of antiquities
Seducer of countless women
Detector of antique crime
Breaker of fourth wall
Wearer of mullet
Sporter of permatan
Displayer of chest hair
Carrier of large purplish under eye bags
Would you appraise my Gainsborough?

