Child brides

It’s First Communion and Confirmation season in Ireland at the moment, and the Irish take both ceremonies very seriously indeed. Not necessarily the sacrament side of it; many young families do not attend mass anymore and would not be aware of the full significance of these ceremonies within the Church. And they are far too busy trying to outdo each other.

Soon I will see seven and eight year old girls dressed in white satin and lace gowns, each more ornate and elaborate than the next, complete with lace veils, delicate white gloves and bags, and even a few parasols. Their parents have paid thousands of euro on these minature bridal gowns and the ‘reception’ afterwards, but they can bask in the knowledge that their child looked more expensive than anyone else’s, especially their next door neighbour with the 07 merc.

Confirmation is a little different as kids are usually around twelve years old at that stage so they take a more active part in the madness. They still tend to be egged on by their parents, who are petrified that their child might not look better than Marjorie’s eldest down the road who was on the tanning beds for two weeks beforehand.

Here are some of the sights to behold at these occasions:

• Kids taking pink limousines, horse and carts and even helicopters to the church
• One limo even turned up with a red carpet (the priest came out and told the parents to take it away)
• Skin tight dresses (white, naturally) and orange fake tan
• Veils that light up when the child kneels at the altar
• After parties in five star venues

I doubt the Church are fans of this - their stance on materialism is well-known - but it’s a runaway train at this stage. At least the twelve year olds can appreciate the after parties…