Monday, August 18, 2008

Starters Block

Even though this is my seventh time, starting the rewrite of a story is just not getting any easier. As with previous stories my anxiety level built throughout the day yesterday as I doubted my ability to do a good job, to meet my daily word target and my decision to tell the whole world that I was writing a book.

Sipping my drug of choice for such anxiety-ridden situations (white wine) I thought about telling everyone I was just joking and that I hadn't been writing a novel at all; or just buying a ticket to a far-flung land and changing my name. Luckily we had invited Dr. John over for a late lunch so I was distracted from my crazy head ramblings for a few hours.

I finally confessed my worries to The Ours before we went to sleep, he told me it would be fine and I would do a great job, but I still fidgeted for an hour, wide awake, while he slept beside me.

But as today dawned he was proven right; I cautiously opened the story on my laptop and started to type. 1000 words rewritten, a great start to the week.

18 comments:

JJ said...

I think that worrying about doing your story justice, is completely normal. Try not to worry about it ... Or maybe just accept the worry. Anyway, good luck.

Lane said...

Why does The Doubt riddle us so? I've been riddled up with it, these past few weeks. Good for you for showing it what for! You're racing towards that finish line, Olympic style:-)

btw Faye, who comments on my blog, has posted a photo of a sculpture in Dublin. Two women on a bench with bags, having a chat. Do you know it?

Yvonne said...

JJ, I suppose if I stopped worrying about it I'd probably stop caring, which would be a mistake! Thanks.

Lane, The Doubt is just evil. I know the sculpture well, it's nicknamed "The Hags with the Bags" (lol) and it's about five minutes walk from my flat.

Calistro said...

It's horribly isn't it - the writing self-doubt. I'm just starting to plot novel #3 and already I'm thinking "Oh God, I don't know if I can pull this off!"
But I'll plod on anyway and I'm glad you've carried on rewriting :o)

Annie Bright said...

1000 words, that's fab, Yvonne! You have the same drug of choice as me :-))

Yvonne said...

Calistro, I'm clinging to what Stephen King said: that if you don't feel fear or anticipation before writing, you've stopped caring.

Annie, it's the best!

Debs said...

I know exactly how you feel, mind you 1000 words is excellent.

I'm loving that saying by Stephen King, I shall have to remember it too.

on a small island said...

well done for getting past that (very familiar to me) block! ood for you

HelenMH said...

Brilliant. Well done you. I can hardly sleep at all at the moment x

Yvonne said...

Debs, I'd recommend his book On Writing to anyone.

Island, that's why I love this blogging network - you know you're not alone in your neurosis.

Helen, I never have problems sleeping when I'm working full time, but when I'm writing I'm up half the night.

marmiteandtea said...

Yay for your 1000 words! I've said it before but I so admire you for following your dream and anything that is this important to you is going to cause anxiety and sleepless nights - so very normal :)

tallulahbloom said...

1000 words is fantastic, I think worrying and doubt are just all part of the process.

Yvonne said...

M&T, you are so sweet, thank you.

Tallulah, I think it is too.

jen said...

Funny how one day can be so different to the next. Sometimes I just wake up and *know* it will be a productive day. Or vice versa. But it's very disheartening when you have those down days.

Lovely Stephen King quote. I must re-read his book on writing.

Pat Posner said...

Glad the crows of doubt flew away, Yvonne.
I'd actually welcome the pesky things right now because that'd mean I'd written something to feel doubtful about. Still, it's early days since our recent traumas so writing can wait. (For a short while, please.)

1,000 words is fantastic and here's to easier rewriting for the rest of #7! And isn't it great when our 'other halves' are supportive!

KAREN said...

That's brilliant news. Funny how a solution can pop up when we're least expecting it. I've started to cautiously accept that now instead of going into meltdown mode, but it 'ain't easy :o)

Angie said...

I'm late to comment, but I loved this post, Yvonne. I've been near sleepless for the last two weeks and it's torture, but it's so reassuring to know others understand. I love that Stephen King quote. Think I'll pin it to my wall!
And well done on 1000 words, which is fantastic. :)

Yvonne said...

Jen, it's strange isn't it, no doubt my productivity strongly affects my mood.

Pat, I'm so sorry about Charlie, and I hope you can return to writing very soon.

Karen, it's taken a long time for me to realise that regardless of how I feel I can still write!

Angie, hope you're sleeping better now. This writing-blogging thing is great, isn't it? So glad that other people understand what I'm experiencing.